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Jake Enriquez: 00:00 Press and Reach, episode number 27. Abiding fathers with Bill Dotson. Good morning, afternoon or evening, whatever this may be to you, I sure hope and pray that you found well in spirit my friend. Hey my name is Jake Enriquez and it is a joy, honor and a privilege to be your host today. So please let me welcome you to Press and Reach, a podcast where we simply walking out our faith and encouraging others along the way to do the same. So welcome to Press and Reach. My name is Jake Enriquez, your host. And, once again it’s a beautiful, wonderful morning.

Jake Enriquez: 00:52 And we have a special guest with us today Mr. Bill Dotson and Mr. Bill Datson. Actually has something on his mind when it comes to fatherhood. I know and I understand that just by doing a little research on him myself but I’m going to just welcome them to the show. We’re going to go ahead and get started. Welcome to the show Bill how are you doing this morning.

Bill Dotson: 01:12 Thanks Jake. How are you. I’m doing great. All right. Well because the audience I know we’d like to get to know one another on a personal level just kind of tell us if you will introduce yourself where your from, kids. What not. Be happy to do that. Sure.

Bill Dotson: 01:26 Born and raised in Franklin Tennessee. I was an only son and I have a wife of 59 years this month and we have two daughters grown daughters of course and five grandchildren and we are now residing in Dallas Texas since 1970. OK. What part Tennessee you say? Franklin Tennessee just south of Nashville. South of Nashville.

Jake Enriquez: 01:53 Yeah. Well welcome. We thank you greatly. Welcome to the show.

Jake Enriquez: 01:58 And I know and understand that you have a ministry called Abiding Fathers right. Correct

Jake Enriquez: 02:04 . OK. Why don’t you just kind of briefly tell us a little bit about if you can. It’s hard to just break it really brief. But tell us a little bit about Abiding Fathers and what it’s about.

Bill Dotson: 02:14 Well it is a biblically based curriculum ministry to train and equip fathers, would be fathers, existing fathers, surrogate whatever it might be to understand the role that God’s given them. It’s the most important role a man can play and we are committed to challenging men, teaching them the the authority that God has given them the children that has been have been placed in their presence, in their family either biologically or otherwise adopted that God makes no mistakes. He has provided those children to this father and he needs to understand the role that he’s been given. Because if you don’t understand the role and most men don’t. I didn’t. We’ve not been trained as to what godly fatherhood is all about. And if you don’t understand the role you’ve been given in anything your job or whatever it might be you can’t fulfill your role. And so the role of the father is discipleship and we’re training and equipping and challenging men to understand that they have the privilege and the responsibility to disciple their children for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Jake Enriquez: 03:37 OK. I mean I can greatly appreciate that.

Jake Enriquez: 03:40 But I’m just listening to what you’re saying and the question comes to mind. What’s your main focus so far is how do you go about reaching them. Is there a different focus on maybe adults youth young teenagers you know kids today we have youngsters who are becoming fathers pretty quick. So what would you say is the main focus for you in an area if there is one.

Bill Dotson: 04:04 Well our target market is the next generation the millennial 18 to 40. Those that are either getting ready to have a family. That’s our primary target. But really it never ends. Your father. And I’m a father and as a grandfather. That role never ends so whether you’re a young father or a would be for young father or a grandfather. You are still the father of your children and we can all learn from each other. But the target market is the younger. To try to train and equip the next generation.

Jake Enriquez: 04:41 So what do you say about the guys who’ve already stepped into fatherhood. Let’s just say we’ve messed it all up. How do you reach those guys.

Bill Dotson: 04:49 Well I’m a good teacher of that because I did and I messed it all up.

Bill Dotson: 04:53 But it’s never too early and it’s actually never too late. So those of us who have done it wrong and most men don’t get it right. First Daschner and you know that’s why grandfathers come along and you do get a do over.

Bill Dotson: 05:06 But our issue with every level of men is to lay out the discipleship formula so that whatever they have done right or wrong or what what stage they’re in of their fatherhood they can either go back and repent start over ask forgiveness try to encourage their children to forgive them. And for those who are doing it well maybe it just shores up the belief that they’re doing. See where this came about was a person. OK. And that’s been the real light to me about the impact of a lack of a father or an abusive father or whatever. Sure. And to see that devastation in prisons for the last 48 years. Yeah really she has a lot of light on the need for fatherhood. I

Jake Enriquez: 06:02 did see that. I read that. That’s where it really came about for you is you realize that most of the guys that you were ministering to are spending time with you found out they didn’t have a father figure in their life and actually you know we’re talking about a nation now who still seems to we seem to find ourselves with those same numbers. I mean is it really ground to all of us. Now we have a lot of fathers who have stepped up and done this. You know it has been the same kind of number across the board.

Jake Enriquez: 06:33 I mean from back to the time I was growing up. Even today you think it’s getting better or worse. What would you say?

Bill Dotson: 06:40 Well number one it’s the absentee father is in my judgment and I think it’s well proven is the number one issue in America today. OK. A country a culture society is nothing more than a group of families. And once the father who has been given the headship the Lordship the high priest the servant leadership of his family once he’s abandoned that in whatever way you know fully or just barely.

Bill Dotson: 07:10 Then the family doesn’t function. The children don’t learn how to farm and how to function. It then is passed down to them it’s in their DNA. You know young boys they want to emulate their father. They

Bill Dotson: 07:23 want that father. They want to be like him. No matter where these are the main things on the block or what. It’s just they want to please him and a daughter she wants to know that she’s lovely in her in their dad’s eyes. So when that’s not happening there’s brokenness and pain that goes into their adult lives and then it’s passed on to the next generation and beyond.

Jake Enriquez: 07:49 Yeah I mean definitely it comes from different things. I mean these things inspire us to move. And you see the importance of fatherhood. It’s obvious. So tell me a little bit about when you were growing up. What did you see as a youngster coming through there what was fatherhood. What did you see fatherhood as well.

Bill Dotson: 08:09 It was mostly called my father was not a spiritual man. He was raised in the Depression World War Two. And all of that tough times so when they came out of that and like any part of that generation it was just hard work. And that’s what I saw my mother dad works seven days a week trying to make ends meet and I was an only child as I said. So I was sent to church they thought it was important. Sure I was the Bible’s never. We had Bibles. But that was never opened and taught. No nothing within the home. It was all if there was anything that I was going to gain spiritually. It was on my own and I it was interesting I had one uncle. We were of course our family was. They came out of the farm era and we all lived close to each other within an hour to drive.

Bill Dotson: 09:04 My grandmother lived to 100 so my mother’s side so we were close, big family. And so I remember one man, my uncle of one of my mother’s husbands and he was a godly man. And I it easy actually in my book he gave a little testimony but Ronald Selders just he just exemplified what a godly man. His family everything, his loving his wife. And he was following Jesus. And no one else in my family was or would know they were religious. We went to church. But he exemplified what a man, father, husband ought to be. And I got more of a view from a fatherhood from him than any other person.

Jake Enriquez: 09:52 So definitely you were able to look to him for that.

Bill Dotson: 09:54 Yes I see anyone teaching me I could just sense. I wanted to be like him. There it is. Yeah yeah.

Jake Enriquez: 10:01 Well that’s what we say. Christ live within us Right. Seeing that and knowing and understanding that it was something special. Sure it was and definitely. But you know I like to tell people when we talk about these things because a lot of times we look at our father you know we can see either there was some kind of a gap something missing. But you talked about your father who came from a time that was a very hard time. Those are some extremely hard times back in that day. So when people look sometimes we blame our fathers. Right. And you hear people blaming their father Sure. But I like to tell you it’s hard to give which you don’t have. So when we look at somebody who came from an era like that. Yes. You know we as men now have to realize and understand that’s mercy.

Jake Enriquez: 10:48 We have to have somebody who came from a different time. Sure. Maybe they were not able to give that kind of compassion or intimacy. They didn’t see that. Sure. So our jobs as fathers would be to break that cycle. Absolutely. So let’s just say as somebody who’s really struggling with seeing that, maybe it’s the bitterness that came from their father. How does someone enter into breaking the cycle. You said it just the second ago though but I want to. I want you to elaborate on that. If it’s going to happen I got it. I’ve got to go.

Bill Dotson: 11:18 Yeah. There’s brokenness there’s emptiness there’s voids in every man’s fatherhood. Sure. But it really starts and we try to drill this down early on in our curriculum with the men. We have a survey of what was your father like. It’s a 100 in-depth questions. If you knew your father and by drilling down into those questions honestly there’s a lot of pain that comes out of some of them can’t even take them to you again even fill it out. Sure. It’s so painful. And then there’s 40 questions if you never knew your father in any way. What did that make you feel like were what. How did it impact your life. And so where I think it has to start with all of us is analyzing and that’s what we do. We bore down into what was your father like. Because what he has passed on to you and you have received good, bad or indifferent.

Bill Dotson: 12:19 That’s going on with you. That’s a DNA that’s in you. And that cycle if it’s bad needs to be broken. Absolutely. And but until you understand what your father was like to stop, think, ponder, MEDITATE and be honest, then you can then expose those things that need to be dealt with even if he’s dead.

Bill Dotson: 12:45 I suggest that the men go to take their children or grandchildren to the grave if you’ve never done it and say father.

Bill Dotson: 12:52 That’s what I had against you. But dad thank you for giving me life. God use you to give me biological life. Thank you for that. I’ll forgive you of everything because that man that father then over the grave or addressing his father and mother he cannot move on well yeah. Until he has addressed those issues and sought forgiveness and given forgiveness and it may not happen over night and it may be so deep you know there’s cancer. And there’s also a scratch. So it’s what level that you do. But those father wounds and their mother wounds certainly, but father wounds. I read something recently that 90 percent of every person in America has some level of a father wound.

Jake Enriquez: 13:38 And I believe that I believe that and that’s impacting our society our cultures. Sure it is. our families. I tell my kids.

Jake Enriquez: 13:46 If there’s anything that you don’t like about me what you know is we always teach whether we like it to or not. So what you learn that is you don’t like about me just don’t become that you yes they have the right as you grow up and grow. You’re

Jake Enriquez: 13:58 going to get your chance right. Sure you are. I’ll tell you what we’re going to take a really quick break and we’ll be right back.

Jake Enriquez: 15:16 Welcome back. As things come about where we’re hanging out Mr. Bill Dotson and we’re just going to jump right into it because actually you’re right we didn’t actually break into that part. Just tell us Bill how did. How did this ministry start up.

Bill Dotson: 15:31 It happened in when I was 32 years of age. I’ve become a Christian as best I knew how 12 years of age and moved to Dallas with my family. And I was really troubled by the things that were in my life. It was just nothing really was working well as far as me personally. And I was sort of trying to do some good things over here because I knew I was doing bad things so I was really under a lot of stress to please God. And one day I was sitting in our church the Highland Park prayers and the pastor Bill had delivered a sermon sand call and what standing between you and God. And you remember the story of Peter seeing the sheets come down from heaven with all the unclean things? That day was spent seeing those unclean things in my life. And for the first time I realized that sin was a separation from God. It

Bill Dotson: 16:29 wasn’t just something that you did wrong or didn’t do. Sin was a separation and I’d never understood that. So that being said I was a burden that night.

Bill Dotson: 16:44 My wife was cleaning up the rest of the kitchen from dinner and the kids were already asleep and I just was compelled to go to my bedroom knelt down in my bed and I said Lord.

Bill Dotson: 16:57 That’s all I said take out of my life what’s standing between me and you. Amen. When I stood up I felt like a feather. I felt that the burden of my sin I finally recognized that now I my sin had separated me even though I trusted Christ.

Bill Dotson: 17:14 I was not living a redeemed life. So the scriptures just started leaping off the page. So the Holy Spirit was really doing the work.

Bill Dotson: 17:24 Well a couple of weeks later I read the scripture it said, and I was taking everything seriously now. Yeah yeah you did it at the least of these you did it to me and I saw that list of sick and whatever I saw prison I was imprisoned you visited me and I thought Lord I have no reason to go there other than you said and I do teach so I’d be happy to go to prison one week later. Yes God would have it I’m walking down the hall of the church and a couple walks over and says Bill don’t you teach and I said Yes I do. Been teaching young couples class on marriage. And he said and they said we got it seek of prison and we lead worship. But we don’t have a teacher Yeah. Would you be willing to do that and I say I don’t even have to pray for about it because I’ve already said yes to God.

Bill Dotson: 18:19 So that’s where it started 48 years ago and I’ve basically every week of my life. I have been in a prison, a juvenile detention center, Dallas County, Homeless shelters, all of which have shown the devastation of the absentee father. So about 20 years later I’m sitting having a quiet time in my home. And the Lord laid on my heart. This vision of from faith to faith. And I thought God what is that. So I kept exploring praying about it looking at scriptures and it just. I write poetry so I’ve sort of thought that way and it just became this visual from father’s absent in the home. F.A.I.T.H to fathers abiding in the home. And it begs the question fathers are you absent or are you abiding? Yeah yeah. So the book the idea of the book came about 27 years ago. Yeah. Got no traction on it.

Bill Dotson: 19:28 Wrote a lot of notes visited a lot of friends put it in a folder then seven years ago. I’m retiring from the real estate industry. After 50 years and I’m sitting in my office and I’m I open my hands and I look up and I say Lord what else is there for me for the rest of my life I’m seventy two years old at that time and it was like he spun me in my chair. I reached in. Pulled out that folder opened it up and I started reading all of that that I had written down the verses the scriptures all of the thoughts I had that morning and a few weeks later and I’d never really opened that maybe once. Right. 20 years later and in the middle of it my notes it said someone had to write a book on fatherhood.

Bill Dotson: 20:16 And I this what I said to the Lord I hold my hand and I said Lord I’ve never written a book but I’ve written a few things but I’ve got two fingers. Yeah. I know how to type. I’ve got a computer. And if your Holy Spirit wants to write a book on fatherhood through this through this failure. I’m your man. Five minutes later I started the book. Nine months later it was finished and self published it. And seven years ago it was a book for my children, my grandchildren, friends just whoever I thought would be interested in knowing what I felt. But it wasn’t to make a profit or be a book writer or whatever. Well since then I’ve written four other books under God’s direction.

Bill Dotson: 21:03 But at that moment it was obvious to me that God was on to something and so I met with a lot of men and women and they said Bill you need to develop a study guide. And so I did. I got a guy DTS and he and I put together a study guide that flows with the book. Yeah yeah. And then they said you need to go teach it for a couple of years. Get lots of feedback good or bad whatever. Right is it relevant. Sure.

Bill Dotson: 21:36 And I got nothing but absolute favorable stuff not about me but about what God had written in this book about discipleship. And so with that being said. I was led to form a board 5 501C3 corporation and called abiding fathers. And today we are in seven prisons expanding into more. We are into churches, some schools, businesses have taught it to their men. We have fathers forms which are once a month and where men get together with a speaker and we deal with issues and then we have what we call bethedadmovement.com which your audience should explore. Sure. Because it is a weekly production of some kind of material that will help them in their fatherhood. So it’s called bethedadmovement.com and what we have seen where we are right now. We have created a new curriculum called fathering 101.

Bill Dotson: 22:43 Be the dad God wants you to be. And the videography. The new study guides the book has not changed the core message. And so today it’s being marketed across the country. We go into Cuba once the Spanish is finished. We’ve been invited there to go and we now have started Abiding Fathers in Espanol and we have a man who has volunteered to come forward who is bilingual. He was originally from Puerto Rico served on our board and is so compelled he wants to help grow the ministry in the Spanish world. Man

Bill Dotson: 23:20 that’s awesome. And you know I believe that we definitely will put that out there. I believe that you have have plenty of room for growth. Absolutely. There are so many that can really take it and use to utilize it and I know it has blessed us all as we continue to go on it. But let me ask this question because you know I do know like you said earlier you know you’re a Christian. Long

Bill Dotson: 23:44 ago and as a Christian being a Christian we all go through things ups and downs and whatever it might be. Could

Jake Enriquez: 23:51 you tell us about a time that maybe your faith. Because you know the podcast is all about walking our faith and could you tell us about that time that your faith was really tested and then even in that strengthen.

Bill Dotson: 24:05 Well there’s several but I think the most concrete was the I alluded to it earlier where I got on my knees. That was the most prevalent. I’ve had trials since then where God is given me verses and he’s been there for me for strength for comfort for grace for mercy. But what really happened is when I got up off my knees in the next few weeks I didn’t say this but.

Bill Dotson: 24:30 Someone said Bill Billy Graham is getting to getting ready to have a ball as he called his Billy Graham Crusade day at Texas Stadium. OK. And would you like to be a counselor. And I didn’t know what that was. He said Yeah sure. And he said Well you’ll have to go through the training advanced training by Billy Graham and counselors. And I said that’s fine. So that is when my life dramatically changed the five days that night that this man taught us. Okay. Was number first night was Romans 3:23. He took us through the gospel church. And that was the first time I had ever really seen the Gospel laid out clear. Of course God had my attention and it was Romans 3:23. We all have sand and fallen short here the next night. It was on Rylant 6:23 the wages of sin is death. Separation from God.

Bill Dotson: 25:41 The next night it was on Romans 5:8 that God commanded his love toward us while we were at centers. Christ

Bill Dotson: 25:48 died for us and I’m hearing all of this and it’s coming together. And then he shared with us a Ephesians 2 8 9 on the fourth night and for by Grace are you saved to faith not of your works. Been trying to do it through my works are in Gods and unless any man would boast and but the final night changed my life forever.

Bill Dotson: 26:13 He introduced Revelation 3:20. Jesus is saying to the church be home stay. I’m standing at the door and knocking if any man any man. Bill Jake that’s the law if any man here’s my voice. Right. Right. And opens the door. I will come into him and abide with him or eat with him forever with me. That was the revelation. That set me free. Because at that evening session I understood I could have a personal relationship with the living creator God through His Son Jesus Christ and that in Christ I was no longer separated from him.

Bill Dotson: 27:02 I didn’t have to earn it anymore. I was free to be the man of God that he had called me to be in all of this. As you know I’ve had many many trials since then. But that gospel being laid out so clearly and that I’ve testified in many many times. That revelation 3:20 just it was the freedom I needed.

Bill Dotson: 27:23 And I was at the right place at the right time. And that’s happening and this stuff is that OK.

Jake Enriquez: 27:29 We. It I think about I think about this when I’m when I’m listening to you.

Jake Enriquez: 27:34 You said the scriptures started coming to you in those different times of your life. Sure. And that’s the way I like to encourage you. You know my kids just read it just read is they will return void. That’s right. Absolutely because it will and it will come back at that time. It’s needed you know and during those times. But I think that’s great man and that’s a great way to explain this. So I encourage anyone and everyone who’s who’s listening. They just continue along that line of studying Scripture looking into the word.

Jake Enriquez: 28:03 But as we go forward I want to ask you this how can people get connected with you and maybe become involved in the ministry or do more is there. I know you mentioned one Web site but what would that way be.

Bill Dotson: 28:16 Well abiding fathers dot org. You can contact us that way our phone numbers all over that information. You can agree to be a prayer warrior. OK. This is whole.

Bill Dotson: 28:33 ministries under guarded about prayer. You might have an interest in donating. You might be interested in becoming a colleague which is we train you to be able to teach other fathers so we call them colleagues their coaches your teachers of the fathers so you can get trained to be or by this entire colleague training master set and you want to talk to me because it’s self taught and or become trained and equipped to be an abiding father and come to our father’s forums or our fathers for maybe a year in Arlington or you’re in Irving and we’re not there yet and you say man I want to gather these 15 or 20 men each month and really at my church.

Bill Dotson: 29:21 And I think really the greatest opportunity is for your listeners if they have a church and they don’t have this curriculum in their church. Yeah. I really encourage them to get with their pastor whoever’s in charge or their senior pastor or a men’s leader and get this curriculum and review it. Sure. And every church that we’ve had do it none of them turned back yet.

Jake Enriquez: 29:55 Amen. That’s great. That’s awesome. Bill, let me ask you this though. You mentioned earlier there was somewhat of a vision that God had placed on your heart long ago.

Jake Enriquez: 30:04 OK so that it didn’t really come until later. Right. So before we go I want you to like because I think about people who are trying to do something.

Jake Enriquez: 30:13 Sir I think about people who are trying to maybe they hear that from the Lord don’t really know what to do with it.

Jake Enriquez: 30:19 God give them a vision. They don’t really know what to do with it. So what would you say to someone who’s got that they do not really too sure about it. But how do you how do you proceed with that.

Bill Dotson: 30:29 Well God does the calling. OK. And then he also controls the timing as I stated earlier right after one week after I had said OK Lord I can go into a prison. Sure. That was sort of a calling I was yielded to that and only one week later he acted. Well 20 years went by after he shared from faith to faith. And then it came about. So there’s one week 20 years. And so I think you have to. The hardest thing for us as a Christian to do especially if we know we’ve got a calling on her like is to keep from just just jumping out there and getting ahead of him. I’ve done that too many times my life. The word wait the stale weight. There’s a Psalm 27:13 and 14 that says I would have lost heart unless I believed to see that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living waiting the Lord be of good courage and he shall strengthen your heart.

Bill Dotson: 31:33 Wait I say on the Lord. So the psalmist is saying that you see something it’s in your mind’s eye. You know you’ve been called. But you’ve got to wait for God or else it becomes a human effort. And I’ve done way too many of those and I’ve fallen flat on my face. I still do that. Sure. I pray about it. I know God speaking in my heart. So I’m just going to go out and help him. OK. But what I believe in also were to ban something on earth it’s bound in heaven. So things that God allows us to start things here. Yeah. He works the prayers of his people.

Bill Dotson: 32:12 He wants to know what’s on our heart. Him he already knows it but he wants us to express it. And if two people men who ever get together in dandiest then it’s bound to happen and it’s going to be come about. And it’s sort of like two witnesses in Jerusalem. They had to have two witnesses and so lay it out there put it to prayer and be patient enough to wait on God.

Jake Enriquez: 32:38 I can’t get any better advice than that because you know the scripture says many are the plans of a man’s heart. But

Jake Enriquez: 32:44 it’s the council the prevails.

Bill Dotson: 32:46 The mind of man plans his way the Lord directs the steps that have been my one of my life verses.

Bill Dotson: 32:53 Oh yeah but you know I would also tell your or your listeners that you train up the child in the way that he should go and when he is older he she they will not depart from it yet. And as a father you gotta keep in pudding even when you don’t see immediate results. Right. Because when they get older and I just wrote a blog my most recent life to day blog and it was this girl saying that she packed these things in her bag.

Bill Dotson: 33:25 She wasn’t doing everything her dad was telling her but when she got to college she started unpacking the bag completely. That’s good stuff.

Bill Dotson: 33:34 So you just got to keep on inputting godly things in their lives. And it will take it. Amen.

Jake Enriquez: 33:43 That’s faithfulness by the way. Yes yes it is. Thank you so much for hanging out with us. We greatly appreciate it and will definitely have that information on the show notes where people can reach out to you. Bill, thank you so much man. We sure do love you and we thank God for you in what you do for the Kingdom of God.

Bill Dotson: 34:02 All right thank you it’s been a blessing. You bet.