Nathan Tabor: 00:01 You know, I really needed to talk to someone I needed a perspective. I needed sound wisdom and counsel described in Proverbs.

Jake Enriquez: 00:12 Welcome to Press and Reach, now here’s part two with Nathan Tabor Doing it God’s Way. Let’s go.

Jake Enriquez: 00:22 Good morning, afternoon, or evening, whatever this may be to you. I sure hope and pray that you be found well in spirit, my friend. Hey, my name is Jake Enriquez and it is a joy, honor and a privilege to be your host today, so please let me welcome you to press and reach a podcast where we’re simply walking out our faith and encouraging others along the way to do the same.

Jake Enriquez: 00:58 Welcome back to Press and Reach. My name’s Jake Enriquez, your host. We’re hanging out with Mr Nathan Tabor. This is part two and earlier Mr Tabor was telling us about making the decision to do it God’s way. So Nathan, we want to know now some of the things that you started doing and when you started walking with the Lord and doing it God’s way. These changes happened and of course your wife was affected but just kind of a lead in and kind of continue to tell us about what was going on there with you and your wife.

Nathan Tabor: 01:23 My wife was, you know, and it took her probably a year or more to really understand that one I had changed, uh, in to, to understand the impact that it was having on me, her, our in others around us, you know, cause a lot of times we will self adjust will be going down a path and we’ll say, OK hold up. Sorry I got on the wrong path there. I’m gonna pop back over here and we do for a day, a week, a month, maybe a few months, but we still don’t have the foundation. Right? So then we slipped back. You tell her this and now you start making your way to live your life for the Lord. What are some of the things that you’re doing during this time and that she can actually see you doing that are different? That changed. One of the biggest things is I had a 15,000 square foot warehouse that I rented that was full of precious material things. I had two boats. I had an antique car.

Nathan Tabor: 02:25 I had, I don’t know what all of those full, it was full of all kinds of stuff and I, you know, I was a gun collector, and ammo. I think I had 87 guns and 50,000 rounds of ammo. And so I had a four day auction. I went through all my and I still, I mean I still have a nice house and I still have nice things, but I became a hoarder…for material things. And so, you know, I had an auction because there was, I mean it basically came down to a point I never could enjoy anything I had because all I did was spend time either paying for what I had or you know, winterizing or fixing or cataloging for the insurance company or you know, you get to a point where that piles on you as well.

Nathan Tabor: 03:10 The hardest thing for me personally and I think for anyone is to clear out my conscious into a biblical thing of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a two way street. You have to forgive those who have done you wrong. And then this is the kicker here. That’s hard. It’s hard to forgive people who have done you wrong. Why is it so hard? I don’t slight, well, you know, vengeance, um, you won’t, you won’t, you know, if they did that to you, you want to get them back, you know, in sports, somebody, you know, hits you and elbows you in basketball or you run down to the other end and you knee them in the thigh and give them the, the Charlie horse. I mean, you know, so it’s like instant vengeance. In life, you don’t get that really unless you t-bone somebody in your car, which I do not suggest, you know, but to really forgive them, because bitterness is a hard pill to swallow.

Nathan Tabor: 04:00 You know, somebody does you wrong in a business deal, you might not ever get the chance to per se, get them back. So what do you do? Do you just let it fester and build up? Or do you do what God has said what Jesus said in the Lord’s prayer and forgive them? So I sat down and I made a list of everybody that I needed to forgive. When Peter asked Jesus how many times I had to forgive somebody and he said seven times 70, those infinity and I’ve got people that I literally, I think on a daily basis of things that happened 10, 15, 20 years ago that come up in my mind daily, but when it used to come up, I would spend time on, could I? Should I? And, you know, it’s been meaningful time that I should’ve been doing something else.

Nathan Tabor: 04:43 Daydreaming about something that for time, it would’ve been too long. The statute limitations is up. I couldn’t do anything about it. And I spent time doing that. Well, that affected me. It affected those around me and it wasted time. The other and the hardest, the absolute hardest thing in forgiveness is going to those that I had done wrong and making it right.

Jake Enriquez: 05:08 So the two fold process – forgiving others, and seeking forgiveness from those that you’ve done wrong.

New Speaker: 05:15 You know, the first step was going to God and asking for His forgiveness and the restoration.

Jake Enriquez: 05:21 Oh, that’s a good point right there because, uh, I want, I want, I want to bring that up because we can get right with God and yes, we can receive forgiveness by the way. We can receive forgiveness from God, but there is something that goes further than that. God wants us to step out in that and what you’re talking about, stepping out in faith and forgiving and exercising the act of forgiveness both ways. But go ahead. You were talking about now…

Nathan Tabor: 05:46 Yeah I want to make sure in there, you know, my first step before I even apologized to my wife was I got down on my knees and just asked for His forgiveness and restoration. Then went to my wife and then I started following this path of, well…you know, I just started praying, you know, Lord, who? And some of them I knew. I mean I didn’t have to ask. I knew that there had been an argument about this power bill, the electrical bills and where had done some work or I knew this, but I mean it got to the point where I was going back to like high school teachers that I had made fun of. I hadn’t remember. I mean I hadn’t thought of it in a long time, but you know, it was me. I shouldn’t have done those things.

Nathan Tabor: 06:23 It was old enough to have known better and I sat down and I emailed. I texted and I Facebooked and I wrote handwritten letters and probably half the people I didn’t hear back from. Ten percent was like, oh, this is really. I mean, I hadn’t, not, no big deal. Never is. Never even cross my mind. I mean, but, but thank you, but no harm, no foul. A few people told me where to go and how to get there and you know what? When you ask someone to forgive you and you do it in the right spirit, if they don’t forgive you, the scripture says it’s off your plate and on theirs. You know, if you want to be truly successful and enjoy the fruits of your labor, and this is where I did it wrong, you know, I went and made money, but I didn’t get to enjoy the fruits of my labor at that time because I was so upside down in all aspects of my life.

Nathan Tabor: 07:17 If you ask people, you know, talk to a lot of people who are coming from people who are worth $900,000,000 down to worth nothing. The number one thing that you will find in there is that if you don’t have that relationship with God right, and the relationship with your spouse and the relationship with your kids, everybody who has money, you know what they don’t have? That didn’t have that right? They’re normally on their second wife and they don’t know their kids.

Jake Enriquez: 07:45 No, no, that’s good. That’s absolutely good. So you, uh, you go to your wife hat. How was she receiving a, this forgiveness stage material? As you’re moving through forgiveness and you’re realizing the forgiveness and the necessity behind forgiveness, I must say, in order for us to move forward, we got to learn how to forgive, but how did she receive that? How did your wife receive that?

Nathan Tabor: 08:07 She was supportive, but she just kind of, she kind of just, you know, just watched. When you come back to God, you bring the things that you’ve done, you’ve got to deal with the consequences of your actions. Now here is where most people get stuck. You know, for me, I had, I had been through it and I, you know, what, how am I going to do this? How am I going to do that? And so my wife and people who worked for me and around me are looking at saying, well, you know, you gotta deal with this now. And it’s like, well, yes, but I’m going to deal with it either way. You know, here’s what people don’t realize – had Jonah not jumped off the boat been swallowed by the whale or fish, do you know what would have happened? The scripture says the storm was going to tear the boat apart! [Yes, there you go!] Most people don’t ever, I’ve never heard someone preach about that. Had Jonah not gotten right with God, he would’ve drowned. So either way he was going to deal with a consequence of his action.

Nathan Tabor: 09:11 But as you start coming back to God, most people will say, why is God punishing me now? I got my heart right with God. I asked for forgiveness, but now he’s punishing me. No, God’s not punishing you. Had you, had I, had you been on the right path, been where God wanted us to be, we wouldn’t be dealing with the consequence that we have of our actions. You go cheat on your wife and you leave her and go set up another household for a year and then you move back in and go, oh, my finances are bad because I’ve got to pay for these two things. What did God have to do with that?

Jake Enriquez: 09:11 Right, absolutely. You try to blame God…

Nathan Tabor: 09:49 What you should be doing and, and what I did and, and it’s baffling and I, man, I, I still have my struggles. I’m dealing with things today that I did six years ago, that business deals and how they were done and contracts and restructuring them and it’s at times, you know, go home. Uh, you know, it really gets down on me and I get this. Oh, woe is me. Thank you know. Thank you Jesus. Thank you. God. Thank you. Holy Spirit for not letting horrible, bad things happened to me when I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.

Jake Enriquez: 10:24 That coming back to God has happened and there are some things that do need to take place and like we talked about forgiveness, but even in the event now, when you look at something that you struggle with, it’s, it’s taking every thought captive like the scripture says and just puting it into perspective. What would be the right thing to do in this time? And just giving it full thought and then moving forward, trusting God in this situation. That does not mean that you have lost your ability to do business. God gives us the ability to business, to do business. A matter of fact, scripture says, God grants us the ability to gain wealth so that his covenant may be established so that as you take that forward in dealing with the things you have to do what today, it’s just simply putting it down, thinking it through, praying, and then move it into the Lord as you go forward with the abilities that he’s already granted to you.

Nathan Tabor: 11:14 Yeah, absolutely. Hey, listen, here’s the biggest thing in this. Look at the story of Jonah. I love the story of Jonah because it’s very applicable to my life. What did Jonah do when he was in the, in the belly of the whale or fish? You know, I’m getting a theological discussion again. What did he start doing? He started praising the Lord. Why was he praising the Lord? Cause he had been delivered from where he was, the path he was on. No, we as Christians, we need to get over it. Some of the most miserable, meanest, maddest, just turned upside down people I meet are Christians. They sit on that church pew. They look like they’re sucking lemons. I was one of them.

Jake Enriquez: 11:14 Sucking lemons, yeah!

Nathan Tabor: 12:01 You know what I’m talking about. And they’re like, Man, my week was horrible. Really? Your week was horrible? I look at it and say, you know, what all has the Lord blessed me with this week? My daughter’s not in the hospital.

Jake Enriquez: 12:18 And it’s, you know what though, Nathan? It’s an ongoing process, you know, that’s, that’s that sanctification process. So as we continue to walk in it, we’ve got to continue to trust, so we’ve got to continue to walk that way. But again, I go back to just take it and given it thought captive and putting your thoughts down in the morning and thinking it through because you already know because of the past experience – that hasn’t changed. In other words, this day of doing business or just doing life period is going to be lined up with plenty of challenges to come and you’re going to have to walk through there the best way that you can and that’s trusting in the Lord, but as you, as you’ve gone through it, now I know and, and by the way, you know at a, at w when you talk, when you speak about your wife, she was supporting you in that. She was kind of watching you go through that. Man. That is a big deal. Seriously, because you know, it’s one thing for our wives to see us live a certain way for so long, but when they get on board and say, you know what? I know my husband’s not perfect and all this thing, but I see him trying to go the way of the Lord and she supports you in that. That’s where the real deal comes. That’s the implant…

Nathan Tabor: 13:27 And I, in a little caveat, I’ll be honest, the first time I ever said to her is like, you know, I’ve been on this path over three and a half years now. I said to her I’m going to write a book? I feel like God wants me to share my story. And she’s like, why?

Jake Enriquez: 13:47 That’s all right.

Nathan Tabor: 13:48 Well, you know, I, uh, one God gave me a good face for radio and podcast and she said, why would you want to do that? And I said, well, you know, it’s, I don’t want to. I said, I’ve been having this internal argument. I said, but where I’ve been and the argument of, you know, God, thanks, but no thank. So I said, that didn’t turn out very well for me.

Jake Enriquez: 14:11 There you go. I’ll tell you what, let’s take a quick break and we’ll be right back.

Jake Enriquez: 14:15 Hey guys, it’s Jake. Hey, I just want to take a brief moment to ask you if in fact you liked the podcast to come and subscribe, rate, and review. Just take a brief moment to do that, but not only that, we asked that you come and visit us on progressing, reached out what we’re all about, faith, family, and community. Listen to if you have a story about how your faith and the Lord has seen youth or we certainly want to hear from you whether it’s been in your business life, your personal life, which could be your marriage or dealing with your family, whatever it may be. We know that faith is a daily walk, so come join us as together we build our communities back up and give God all the glory.

Jake Enriquez: 14:59 Welcome back to Press and Reach. We’re hanging out with Mr Nathan Tabor. So Mr Tabor you were telling us earlier about just going forth with the possibility or the thought I should say about writing the book. So how was all that work and now what were you putting together?

Nathan Tabor: 15:13 Scripturally wise, I can’t remember the scriptures I’m aware about. You know, you don’t share your private sins. There are things where you don’t boast about because there are public sins and there are times that you. You can talk about your public sends, you know, in broad strokes, I don’t tell intimate details of any of my business dealings or personal dealings because there’s another person on that other end.

Jake Enriquez: 15:39 Right. No, no, I get it. I understand what you’re saying.

Nathan Tabor: 15:41 You might not want that known, but I, I talked in broad strokes of, hey, I wasn’t what God wanted me to be in. It causes relationship problems from my wife to anybody that I, you know, a waitress, you know, business decisions on how they’re done and this vulnerability , this sharing, you know, I write like my story and I write for a few blogs, and I do a podcast and others and it men who facebook message me or text me or email me and they just tell me their story.

Nathan Tabor: 16:14 Why, why would they? Because in most churches today, in most areas that someone would go to and say, hey jake, can I, can I talk to you for a minute? I’ve got a problem. Let me just give you the best advice I’ve ever given you my just getting God’s word and study it and pray a little bit more and everything will be good. No, I really needed to talk to someone. I needed a perspective. I needed sound wisdom and counsel described in Proverbs, I think in where, where God’s calling is. Yeah. I help a lot of people in real estate and I’ve helped people build your companies. I’ve helped other companies and consulting and I enjoy that. I enjoy seeing that. I also, I always try to dig in with them in just people who call of like, what’s the issue? What is holding you back from God? What is it? Intimidating talks about that the spirit of fear is not from God. So if it’s fear that fear is not from God, someone did you wrong are you bitter? Are you angry? Are you upset with God or are you just, you like the flesh too much? You’re enjoying your, the sin.

Jake Enriquez: 17:20 In other words, it’s talking it out as to how to open it up, have a discussion, and that’s always a lot of fun. If people are willing to do that, if people are willing to do it, but it takes two to talk, right? That’s exactly right. So whenever you’re doing it, and I should just ask this because I think about character traits and I think about something you just said, which is being vulnerable. So do you think that stuff that God has given you here, uh, throughout this time is just how to be more transparent, vulnerable I should say? Or how to just share it more or to get into and have a conversation. What do you think has been developed? I should just as in you that you know, that God is, it surely developed in you as you walk in this walk.

Nathan Tabor: 18:03 So my mom at five years old started calling me her little politician, which then it was not a smack. It was actually a compliment. [OK. All right] My wife calls it the gift of gab. OK. But in this is, you know, I have a degree in psychology. I don’t have my masters of Undergrad degree. And one point I thought I was being called into psychology and. But if I had to say, you know, Nathan, what’s, what’s one of your gifts? I think God has really laid two gifts in my life that I know of. One is kind of seeing the big picture. I’m not a very organized, I’m not a… I can be detailed if I have to, but it’s at times annoying. I can walk into a room and tell you if that one corner is off by quarter inch. I mean it’s bizarre. So I walk into a business or I walk into someone’s life and I say, hey, the painter who I’m consulting with and he spends two hours a day writing down his bids and say, you have a crm machine, right? And he said, well yeah I have a crm system. I said, well, just take your ipad into the job with you and write the bid down in your crm and hit send. He’s like, oh my gosh. Just little things, from little things like that to big things.

Nathan Tabor: 19:22 The other though is listening. The art of listening is mostly gone these days. So I’ll be standing in a grocery store and I’ll turn around to someone and say, hey, how are you today? In the corner of my eye, I see my wife going ahead and go into the car and taking the groceries out because she knows that most likely that person is getting ready to tell me most everything that’s going on in their life. [Just by asking questions] Just hey, how are you? You know, not a walking by and you know, hey, how are you diverting, but how, how are you, how are you doing? What’s going on? Everything all right? You know? OK and, you know what? I’m standing in Brooks Brothers or one of those the other day and asked that lady that and, just standing there. I look, I don’t walk on. I asked her and I’m serious, and she looks at me and she goes, oh, well, you know, my, my daughter lost her three year old son a year ago and she’s still really struggling and I’m struggling. Oh, I’m so sorry, and I was. I mean, I can’t even imagine how that feels. You know, 15 minutes later I’m getting to share the gospel with her. If you study the word of Christ, the literally the words of Christ, when He interacts with someone, He never ever brings up the gospel at first.

Jake Enriquez: 20:38 It goes to those things that you were just talking about, which I hear are vision, which is the ability to see either, whether it’s the small things or big things, but it’s a vision. It’s over, just vision and the ability to have that. As well as the ability to listen, which includes a compassion, so to have compassion for others and that’s exactly right. When the Lord sat with people, He could see things, share things, but listen and have them come in, you know…

Nathan Tabor: 21:06 When the woman at the well came up, did Jesus go, hey sinner! You need to get your heart right with God or you’re going to hell.

Jake Enriquez: 21:15 Right? No, it wasn’t like that at all, right? So…

Nathan Tabor: 21:17 He said, hey, can I, can I help you? Can I help you get your water? And you know, in the time period they were in, they probably stood there and had a very long conversation, because that’s what you did. In those days we would stand around and talk to people.

Jake Enriquez: 21:17 So you saying we don’t talk anymore, Nathan?

Nathan Tabor: 21:17 Not really.

Jake Enriquez: 21:36 That’s because all the social media, phones, and everything else, nobody seems to even strike up conversation in the grocery store anymore.

Nathan Tabor: 21:43 If the last conversation you had with your spouse or your business partner, somebody that worked with you, went like this, hey, how are you doing? I’m good. Good. How are you doing? You probably need to take a little bit of time and invest in that relationship.

Jake Enriquez: 21:56 Right, right. Yeah, absolutely, man. No doubt. Well, let me ask you this because I know, you know, uh, we say readers are leaders and I just can’t even say it enough because we’d like to just learn more and more things and I love books, man, because I love to read because when people put their thoughts on paper, that means there’s share of something that’s inside that’s prized. In other words, it’s incredible. Like you say, you want to write a book, you feel like God is leading you to write a book. I’m going to encourage you write the book man, because the Lord’s gonna say something through you and He says you’re going to put it on paper. So readers are leaders. What books do you have that you would recommend to listeners today?

Nathan Tabor: 22:37 In my daily life, I read a Proverb every day and started doing that…I did it when I was growing up and everybody’s like, oh, read a Proverb a day, but I start reading from the Proverbs in the sense of how can I take this and apply it to something, you know, when you’re, if you truly read Proverbs and start, you know, get you a good study Bible that has the notes underneath it. You know, I’ve not found anything in Proverbs that doesn’t deal with some aspect of every part of your life. [Right, absolutely] What I have also found is most of the leadership books, not all of the leadership books or all the self-help books, are all points out of Proverbs.

Jake Enriquez: 23:25 Yeah, I agree. Um, and if you really want to get to down to the gist of it all – start in Proverbs, right? That’s the best way to do it. Absolutely. Well, let me ask you this man, because I know, uh, you know, your story, if you know, it definitely ties into a lot of guys out here that are doing the same thing. OK? So I know everyone can relate to this kind of a situation that you have. So how would the listeners reach out to you? Is it by website, social media? How would you like them to reach out to you?

Nathan Tabor: 23:56 So they can reach me two ways. On the apartment side, I have a site called apartments dot Nathan Tabor dot com. And then my personal website is Nathan tabor dot com. [OK] And the apartments is obviously the business side, the ‘Nathan Tabor’ is the work-life balance side.

Jake Enriquez: 24:13 So work-life balance is on Nathan Tabor Dot Com. And then the apartments…and you know what? I hear people all the time they ask me about apartments. I don’t do apartments. But anyway, I know there’s so much…

Nathan Tabor: 24:26 You know, here’s the thing on the apartment side – it’s from duplexes on up, but even if you don’t ever plan on doing apartments, there’s great things in there…

Jake Enriquez: 24:33 Let’s just talk about, let’s just think about the guy who’s struggling with balance and balance in his life right now. OK. I want you to think about that from your own perspective, how you went through it. What would you say to someone who’s, I don’t know, they’re hard charging. They’re going at it, but they find themselves kind of like you stressed out at night, don’t want to go to bed at night because you didn’t want to get up from bed in the morning because you knew there were so many things you had to do the next day. What do you tell someone who’s going through that right now and and encourage them in their faith?

Nathan Tabor: 25:02 The most important in that is, I would say two things. One, you find someone that you can talk to. Two, take a piece of paper and just start writing down your thoughts. What happens in our brain as you continuously think about the same adults, so even if you’re not to that point yet and you’re just running around in your mind, start writing things down to, you know, not adjusted to do less, but organize them and actually start doing them. If you’re headed on that path in your life is not where you want it to be and you keep trying to do more and more to get it to where you want it to be and it continues to be worse. You continue to be more miserable. I can tell you this from personal experience, have the tee shirt, got the scars on my back. You’re not going to get out of this. You’re Jonah, and you’re on the boat, and the storm is only gonna get worse. There might be a season where you find a little platform of happiness. It’s not going to last. So the sooner you get right with God and the sooner you start doing and conducting your life the way God has called us to do it, the sooner you’ll get to balance, to peace and to harmony and joy.

Jake Enriquez: 26:16 Uh, absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you so much for that Nathan. Because you know, like I was telling you earlier, man, I do know plenty of guys out here going through these things right now. Same type of stuff that you’ve been going through at that time when you were, and we all need to make that change and we all need to continue to remember this too.

Nathan Tabor: 26:37 Yeah, your’e not, you’re not alone. [absolutely] You know, in my mind was like, no one will understand what I’m gonna, what I’m going through. [Yeah] When I talk to some like older, 75 and 80 year old people and they’re like, oh yeah man, I, you know, I sit down and talk to them and I show them what I’ve been writing and they’re like, yes, different. I was in a different industry or that, but that is exactly what my thought process was.

Jake Enriquez: 27:01 Absolutely, not going through it alone and guess what? It’s going to keep going on. In other words, there are more things or different levels that God will surely see us through, because, you know, just like you, Nathan. I think about what you’re talking about. Well guess what? God’s not done. He’s got even something more. There’s different levels that we all get to experience and work out with God and God to take us through so many different things. And it’s, it’s, it’s a great thing though to trust in him.

Nathan Tabor: 27:27 So let me throw out one, one piece here just real quick. When you look at Jonah or Samson or David, but look at my life. Had I stopped at my thirties, at 30 years old and turn to God or 32 or 34 or 36 or 38 or 40. The consequences of my actions, the further we get away from God, the harder, statistically, the bigger our problems that we’re going to have to deal with that we caused, the bigger they’re going to be. [yeah, absolutely] So if you’re just, you know, you’re a year out from God – stop. You know, turn around. Go back. Get on the path with God. If you’re me and you’re already out here and if you think about this. Had Jonah been, had Jonah gotten on the boat and it was 200 feet from shore and he had jumped over and swam back to shore. He would have had some consequences, but he wouldn’t have been swallowed by a fish. Right. You know, that’s what I say to people when I talk to them and consult with them and see them and they’re like, well, I’m just going to keep going. I’m gonna keep trying it my way for a little bit longer. At that point you just have to step back and say, OK, well here’s my phone number. Let me know how that turns out for you.

Jake Enriquez: 28:49 In other words, you’re not mister fix it. I’m glad you bring that up. Not Mr Fix-it, but all you can do…Absolutely. God does all that work, man. So. Man, I greatly appreciate you man. Like I tell anybody and everybody who comes and they’re willing to share and talk about what God has done in their lives. Man, we love you and thank you, but not only you, Nathan, but I’m thinking about your wife today. I really am, just by what you were telling me earlier. You know, she, she was looking at it a little little with skepticism probably in her heart, basically just by seeing things that she had seen with you. But not only that, afterwards, she started, OK, let me, let me get in this thing with you and trust you in it. But she was proud of you too, man. I know she is. So we appreciate her as well.

Nathan Tabor: 29:32 Yeah, and you know, hey, you know, I pray for me, pray for her, praying for you and pray for each other, but also remember to praise the Lord. Life is hard. Life is not fair. Business is not fair. You can’t control other people’s actions. You can only control your own. And I’ve learned through this process to be thankful for what God has done for me and to praise Him for the things that I have, or the things that are right, and to pray to Him to help me in the things that aren’t.

Jake Enriquez: 30:10 Amen. Amen. What great advice from Mr Nathan Tabor. Hey for the show notes on this episode, simply go to press and reach dot com forward slash pr 56. Once again, it’s been a joy hanging out with you, so please keep pressing and reaching and remember that you are not walking out your faith alone out here. For He has promised that He will never leave you nor forsake you. Have a blessed and wonderful day.