018: Why Men Fail

On today’s podcast, our host speaks to the men, about men.  It’s more than just mere opinion, as current stats regarding our inmate population can attest.  So many of the issues our society faces today can be traced back to a lack of leadership in our homes.

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Jake Enriquez: 00:00 Welcome back to Press and Reach my name is Jake Enriquez your host and today,

Jake Enriquez: 00:52 This morning we are going to be discussing this question which is why men fail and you know what I know right off the bat. Everybody’s not failing. But what I’m talking about is why is there so much failure out here with the men of our society today and I’m not afraid to discuss that because I actually get to see it firsthand all over the place just by being available in the community and just conversing with others in the community. And it seems like you know we men all have failures here and there that we could really get better on. And that’s what we’re going to discuss today is you know why. Why do men fail so much in different areas of our lives. And I know you know some some people are going to say well I don’t believe that we do as men fail. Well I tell you what if you go online to this little place called the Texas Tribune.org you’re going to see the reason why there are over a hundred and forty one thousand inmates in the Texas prisons today.

Jake Enriquez: 01:56 Now 90 something percent of those just so happened to be men here are just a few of the top crimes committed by men here.

Jake Enriquez: 02:06 I’m not we’re just talking about the state of Texas. I’m not even talking about other states I’m just talking about my own home state which is Texas.

Jake Enriquez: 02:14 It is a number one crime committed it is burglary of habitation. Breaking in. Right. Another one is possession of a controlled substance.

Jake Enriquez: 02:25 How about aggravated robbery. How about number four though with over 16000 and 74 inmates housed for this very crime.

Jake Enriquez: 02:37 Driving While Intoxicated with their third offense are greater. And right after that number five is aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Now I don’t know about you but those really sound like areas that we’re failing in as men out here you know. But we want to discuss some of the reasons why men fail and you know listen whether you’re in business or not in business you’re in a ministry whatever it might be. You have to know and understand that as leaders out here be it a man or a woman. We certainly have to be led the right way. And we know that to be led we be led in the spirit for those it says the Scriptures is those who are led by His Spirit. Those are the children of God right. And in our community today we’re really not doing so well in some of these areas. So we’re going to kind of talk about some of these things from the man’s perspective today and I’m not leaving the ladies out but you know we’re just talking about the men right now. Why men fail. And

Jake Enriquez: 03:35 number one I could say is that you know as a man we can only give away what we have received.

Jake Enriquez: 03:43 I’ll say that again man we can only give away what we have received so you know oftentimes you look at the fathers and we and you know a lot of the reasons by the way these crimes are committed or young men may have a hard time in life it’s usually because of lack of leadership in the home.

Jake Enriquez: 03:58 And I’m not going to sit there and say that that’s the only reason and that’s an excuse it’s not I’m just saying that the numbers show that a lot of times that there is a lack of leadership that is a male presence by the way in the home. And when I tell you that men can only give away what they have received It’s almost like we continue to pass down the only thing we’ve ever received. OK. So I’ll just ask you this as we get started what have you received as a man. I mean what kind of relationship have you received. Growing up I mean I can I can use I can actually use my very own you know my dad was you know I believe my dad was a great worker all his life OK. But when it came to relationship building with with his kids with us now maybe he wasn’t as intimate as maybe we wanted it to be but certainly none of us ever sit there and blame him for any of that or look down on him for that.

Jake Enriquez: 04:50 We just know you know that’s probably not what he received. Growing up as a young man so it’s hard to give away something that you haven’t received. So it’s hard. You know it’s hard to give that away if you haven’t received it you haven’t experienced it in other words right.

Jake Enriquez: 05:03 So you know but I look at my dad and my dad is as a great man. I love him. I look up to him I still respect him as such. I know he’s a hard worker and you know when he sets his mind to doing things I mean he’s definitely set to go get that thing done right now. Thank God for him because some of those things he has passed on to us. You know his kids so again you know we can only give away what we received. And the reason why I bring that up first and foremost is this if you have not received Christ into your heart and into your life and we have not yet begun to live as matter of fact I’m going to say this right now that’s where everything starts for us as men. So if you have not received Christ as your Lord and Savior you don’t have a relationship.

Jake Enriquez: 05:46 You want to talk about I want to make sure you do something here. Go to pressandreach.com you can go down to the end of this article which is going to be pressandreach.com/PR18. And if you go down the bottom and there will be a place for comments there also be a place that says Contact Us. I’d love to hear from you if you have any questions regarding that. You can do it that way or you can go on Facebook to press and reach there. You can just go through messenger and hit me up on a message if you have questions pertaining to that because if you have not received Christ we have not yet begun to live. That’s just as simple as it is man.

Jake Enriquez: 06:23 If you haven’t received Christ you haven’t begun to live and I can tell you this you can only again give away that which you have received. OK. But you know it brings up another question you know coming up as a youngster we really have to ask ourselves this question have we been receptive to godly counsel. No I don’t know about you. But coming up for me I had a lot of people around me and my brothers my sister you know that were giving us godly counsel and trying to you know bestow that upon each and every one of us. So coming up you know you really have to ask yourself this question Have I been receptive to godly counsel and have I even had an opportunity to receive that you know because godly counsel comes in so many different forms and so many different ways.

Jake Enriquez: 07:05 You know as coming up in school you may have remembered or recalled I should say a teacher who shared some things with you or if you were in church coming up you certainly probably recalled some of the elders who looked after you they loved you and you know they were trying to share some love with you or just try to guide you in the right direction.

Jake Enriquez: 07:23 Does it automatically or always only come from our parents. We receive godly counsel from men and women who are of the faith all around us. But the question again is have we been receptive to that godly counsel. And

Jake Enriquez: 07:41 that’s one thing I think back on now is I remember I wasn’t very receptive to godly counsel and I can tell you the truth I had it all around me I had it very dearly in my mother but also had it around with other people around us. You know my mother’s friends even some of our personal friends and their moms and dads.

Jake Enriquez: 08:01 Oh I remember them friends of ours it always shared the love of the Lord with us and maybe we weren’t receptive to godly counsel says some of the questions we have to ask ourselves as men have not been receptive to godly counsel in the past. And if I haven’t the good news is hey the scripture says his mercies are new every morning. So good news brothers. We can surely be receptive to godly counsel today because the only thing I tell you again that we can give away is that which we have received That’s number one but number two is that we as men seem to pursue the wrong things early. You know what this is not uncommon. We all pursue some of the things that we shouldn’t and early on. And if we didn’t have any kind of leadership or guidance around us showing us something different than we really got after pursuing the wrong things quick I mean a lot of those things look like a lot of fun and we you know we break a lot of the rules we get out there and do some things that we know good and well we’re not supposed to be doing but that’s just part of you know you know pursuing the wrong things and we usually do that pretty early as men we get out there and pursue some of those wrong things.

Jake Enriquez: 09:06 But here’s the thing when I think about pursuing the wrong things. All right I think about how can we stop one another from doing that. Well OK I can’t rewind the hands of time. I’m not going to be 15 years old again. No I mean I wish I could but I’m not going to be 15 years old again right. So what can I do to help out with somebody else who’s going after the wrong things. Now

Jake Enriquez: 09:28 listen I have four boys. Ethan Jacob Jaxon and Josiah.

Jake Enriquez: 09:35 So those are my four sons and I love them. I love them dearly. I know each and every one of my sons are in a different place in their life. OK.

Jake Enriquez: 09:44 So the relationship that we have is different for each and every one of them because I might be talking to my oldest son about the current things that he’s going through in his age versus my youngest son who’s three and we could talk about different things right.

Jake Enriquez: 09:57 So what I’m saying is how do we stop the youth from pursuing the wrong things early like that. Well we of course have to exercise caution because you know as well as I know nobody likes to be told what to do right. We all like to be told what to do. So it came to me in the younger age telling you man Jake you can’t do this you can’t do that. What am I going to do. I want to go do this and do that because that’s what I wanted to do. But it’s a little bit different if we share with them the reasons why. And I think that’s extremely important to share in those reasons why why it matters so much you know. You know I know I’ve shared this with you before I’m a prison minister.

Jake Enriquez: 10:35 And often I see the prisons that are field filled in with folks who have pursued the wrong things early. And we have to do as men today. You know what we have to do is give back and help share no matter where it is and where it is. We have to be able to share with others why that pursuit is the wrong pursuit you know especially for our young men today. I know it looks like a lot of fun youngster but a those things lead to something different. I often tell my kiddos I said you know everybody doesn’t make it out in other words you know what. As young men we get out then we pursue these things and we try this and try that let’s take alcohol or drugs for example. You know you might try alcohol or you might try drugs and you tried it and you didn’t like it you dealt with it and you moved on but everybody doesn’t end up that way.

Jake Enriquez: 11:30 Some people try it and get hooked get caught and that ends up being our life for the next 20 years maybe the rest of our lives. So I tell you the pursuit of the wrong things early matters. And I know again I can’t rewind the hands of time but I’m very very observant of that. So being observant of that sharing with the youth is how we can help other men not fail especially our young men as they’re coming through this time and age right now.

Jake Enriquez: 12:00 We are you know man it’s it’s tempting out here it’s noisy out here everybody thinks they’ve got the right answer. We’ve got so much again division discord and everyone’s telling you you can do it this way and that but again just sharing with our youth getting into the lives of youngsters and sharing these things is why these things could end really tragic for our youth and we don’t want that to happen. So

Jake Enriquez: 12:21 again just pursuing the wrong things early truly comes to mind when thinking about it. But number three when I’m thinking about why men fail it’s the mere fact that we never start moving with intent. And what I mean by that is this. Have you ever been around someone that they tell you you know what. I know what I’m doing. I’ve been doing this for the past 30 years. And all you can do is look at him and question in your mind if you’ve been doing it for 30 years the wrong way. What does it benefit you if we never start moving with intent.

Jake Enriquez: 12:56 We never begin living we never begin growing we never really begin prospering in what God has for each and every one of us out here. So what are we talking about when things are moving with intent and the different things. Well I know that people are familiar with goal setting. OK. So I was just sharing this with my wife the other day if I say I want to be a better dad. Is that a goal. Not really. Because

Jake Enriquez: 13:19 what am I going to do to be a better dad. You know you have to set something up.

Jake Enriquez: 13:24 I want to start playing basketball with my son every day when I get off work or I want to make sure I sit down with each and every one of them for this many minutes every week at least with intent.

Jake Enriquez: 13:37 So we can discuss this or that whatever it might be. In

Jake Enriquez: 13:40 other words we have to move within 10 if we’re not moving in within 10.

Jake Enriquez: 13:45 We’re just out there saying hey we’re going to get better. Not really happening though. So with that we have to ask ourselves you know what does that goal look like. You know what does the goal look like. Did I say I’m going to try to get better in this or that again. You know if I’m a dad I want to get better in those areas. If I’m a brother I want my relationship to be better with my family my brothers and sisters. If I’m a business leader I want to make sure that I am getting better in business. But what does that mean to get better in business is that mean to chase more money. Absolutely not know what that means is moving forward in a godly manner or in other words bringing more value to the marketplace with a more in a more meaningful way. In other words I surrounded myself and I have engulfed myself with the principles of God.

Jake Enriquez: 14:32 And that’s the way that I move in business that I would be able to lift folks up around me as we go through. You

Jake Enriquez: 14:39 know that’s why in our community today you know you look around. I

Jake Enriquez: 14:43 mean you can start with a nation you can start with our government honestly feel like we have godly leadership everywhere out here where we’re without godly leadership into many areas of our lives so as men as we move out here in this world today we have to ask ourselves the question why men fail why are men failing today. And if I would look at it from a just just going off what we were just talking about these three things you know well what do we do. Because I love the application part of life and I know that as men we all like that checklists so to speak where you want to check it off but it’s not a checklist so to speak but it is taking those things and turning them around and actually walking in them. So how to move with intent. What are the things that matter to me the most if you’re a man write those things down.

Jake Enriquez: 15:34 Does your marriage matter if your marriage matters write it down. What am I going to do to improve upon my marriage. There has to be some things that we’re writing down doing pursuing and actively going after it. Then we can say that we’re actually starting to move with intent but also why in the world would we continue to pursue the wrong things. We need to start looking at those things that we’re pursuing are they the wrong things to pursue if in fact they are. Label them as such and move away from them. You know it comes time some time in our lives right. Well we do have to start walking in this manner as men if you want to stop failing. That’s what I’m talking about if we want to stop failing as men that we’re going to have to start moving with a purpose and intent.

Jake Enriquez: 16:18 I told you earlier that a man can only give away what they’ve received have you received the grace of God. Man that’s what that’s where it really counts. That’s where it really matters. I told you earlier if you had not received Christ you have not begun to live and to receive Christ is to receive the grace of the Lord and that grace if we have received it.

Jake Enriquez: 16:39 Man I’m telling you we can start to give it back. The

Jake Enriquez: 16:42 apostle Paul that’s how he opens every letter pretty much has made the grace of God be with you each and every one. Grace is the place to be. I can promise you that I can assure you of that. So listen as we’re moving in this thing I’m thinking about some different things. I know. You know today you know out here it seems like men as men we like to stand for different things right. I mean we’re not we don’t have to dance around the issues. We know the issues that are going on in our society today things that are taking place. And I know everybody is still in an uproar about the NFL and folks taking a knee or standing.

Jake Enriquez: 17:18 Listen. Racial injustice exists no doubt. And I would never condone racial injustice. But the real reason racial injustice really exists today is because godly men men who know better do not move forward in unity. They let division and discord continue to take its place and never move forward with the love of God showing others how to move about in this thing. Matt I think that that folks have forgotten Martin Luther King Jr. and he said hey in our pursuit he said Let us not drink of the same cup of hatred and bitterness for that would not be the answer. But you do know he was a man of God though right. And here we are today an uproar.

Jake Enriquez: 18:10 We’re in division not moving together not moving in unity because the real reason racial injustice is in discord exists is because we don’t understand one another. We’re supposed to move together in these different things and learn from one another as we go and grow.

Jake Enriquez: 18:28 You know what we could we could all take a knee for so many different things out here. I don’t see anybody taking the need for marriage. Didn’t see it on the field. Don’t see it pretty much anywhere else. How about domestic violence. You think we could probably take a knee for that because that’s an injustice in case you don’t know. All across America today there’s domestic violence that is running rampant behind the scenes. You know how about the issue with alcohol and now marijuana. They want to legalize marijuana. Imagine

Jake Enriquez: 18:57 that. I don’t see us taking a knee for these things. There are a million and one injustices I can assure you of that. But the real reason we as men fail is because we have not submitted ourselves unto the Lord Jesus Christ. Period the end. Listen

Jake Enriquez: 19:13 I’m praying for you brother I’m praying that you pursue this thing with intent that you get on with when you receive the grace of God. That way we could give it away. And as we move in this community out here we would move with more unity and love with one another as we try to understand each other.

Jake Enriquez: 19:30 But if you’re a godly man already if you’re in the Lord in the Lord and you stop putting things out here on social media telling everybody else why everybody else is so wrong. That in fact steel plant seeds of discord and division. Lift

Jake Enriquez: 19:49 up the name of the Lord and let the Lord do the work. You do know it’s written Christ said. And if I am lifted up from all the earth will draw all people unto my name. Praise God. In other words lift up the name of the Lord to let him do it OK. Whereas put on a full display of God’s love.

Jake Enriquez: 20:09 Always men. We can stop failing you know. Turn back look at the youth today. Teach the youth today how to walk in this thing diligently how to walk in this thing and love talk to the youth. If you’re a man of God you should be out there talking to the youth any time you get a chance. Share

Jake Enriquez: 20:29 some love with him talk to him ask him how they are doing and where they’re at you going to school what’s going on man. There’s a lot of things we can be doing out here. I’m

Jake Enriquez: 20:37 praying now that the men that the men would stand up because I know deep down in my heart so do you know why is it always been mama doing all this stuff. Come on man. We supposed to be standing up doing our thing and no good and well we’re supposed to be leading this home the way God designed it to be. I’m praying for you I’m pulling for you today. I pray all is well with you and your family. I want you to know as I go. Man I sure do love you. I thank God for you. Hey for the show notes on this episode just simply go to press and reach dot com forward slash PR 18 and I’ll tell you what I want to hear from you. So I’m going to ask you this question.

Jake Enriquez: 21:17 You tell me why you think men fail out here today and I know that a lot of people don’t want to talk about this because I see it often.

Jake Enriquez: 21:26 I see that. I

Jake Enriquez: 21:26 see the women now. Hey I’m getting out here praising God in front of everybody but men were we at worst we’re supposed to be out in the front leading. So I’m just asking you that question on a personal note.

Jake Enriquez: 21:39 I just want to know from you why do you think men are failing today.

Jake Enriquez: 21:43 You can either go to pressandreach.com and put it down on the comments down below or go off to the Facebook page. Under this episode it’s Preston reach on the Facebook page and just leave the comments there. We love you. We thank God for you. Have a blessed week. Once

Jake Enriquez: 22:00 again it’s been a joy. Hanging out with you.

Jake Enriquez: 22:03 So please keep pressing and reach and remember that you are not walking out your faith alone. For he has promised that he will never leave you nor forsake you. Have a blessed. And wonderful day.

We Can Only Give Away What We Have Received

Whether it’s a strong work ethic or a tendency to hold our kids at arm’s length, we are likely to pass down whatever it is we’ve received.  We can’t really give away something we don’t already have.  First and foremost, everything starts with receiving Christ into your heart and into your life.  If you haven’t, please reach out to us with your questions and concerns.  Accepting Christ is where we can begin to live!

While the bulk of this responsibility falls on our parents, many of us have also been subjected to godly counsel from other adults (teachers, church elders, friends’ parents) throughout our lives.  The question is, have we been receptive to it?  If the answer is “No”, there’s still good news – God’s mercies are new every morning!  We can’t give godly counsel if we ourselves have not received it.

Pursuing the Wrong Things Early

We all pursue things we shouldn’t at some point.  If we didn’t have any kind of leadership or guidance to show us something different, then the sooner we set out to testing limits and breaking rules. None of this is uncommon.  The real issue is, how can we stop one another from doing that?  Rewinding time is not an option.  We’ve got to speak to today’s youth (starting with our own children).  Since we can agree that no one likes being told what to do, we’ve got to exercise caution.  When we speak to the youth, it is important for us to share in those reasons why it matters.  We need to express to them that trying something out, such as alcohol or drugs, can lead to decades of grief.  Not everyone gets off easy.  When you get a hold of these things especially early in life, you may not be able to shake it as easily as you think.  We’ve got to get into the lives of our youth and share what we’ve learned to help them avoid potentially tragic mistakes.

We Never Start Moving with Intent

Nothing gets better just by talking about it.  Goals must be set.  I want to be a better dad.  Great.  But what am I going to do about it?  What does this goal look like?  To move with intent, think about the things that matter most, and then write those things down.  Is it your marriage?  Write it down.  Whatever it is, if it’s worth pursuing, write it down.  If it’s not, acknowledge that and move away from it.  Start moving with a purpose and intent, considering action that you can take to improve in the areas you listed.  If men are to stop failing, we have to start moving with a purpose and intent.  To receive Christ is to receive grace.  Once we receive grace, we can start to give it to others.

Division and discord continue to take place because godly men who know better don’t move forward in unity.  They aren’t moving forward with the love of God and showing others how to do the same.  Just like in reaching out and teaching our youngsters, men have to be willing to learn from one another as we go.  We have to try to understand one another, rather than “drink from the same cup of bitterness and hatred”, as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., warned.  It really boils down to this: we as men fail because we have not submitted ourselves unto the Lord Jesus Christ.  Instead of utilizing social media to plant the seeds of discord and division, lift up the name of the Lord and let Him do the work.  We can stop failing.

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